everything is so sudden. even i myself find it hard to accept. i really dont know how is she herself and her family gonna accept it. life is so fragile. anything can happen anytime without you even knowing. we always say that we have to treasure everyone around you now since you're able too. but how many times do we actually act it out. really thank GOD for her strong personality. she's stronger than i thought. stronger than me. i wont be able to go through as much as her. jia you girl! you have all of us praying and being there for you. i love you~!

its so hurting when you know about it and yet you can do anything to help solve the problem. am so pissed at him. he makes me all the more fearful of marriage. he makes me all the more weary about getting married. however, one will never know the true colours of a person until marriage. whether the other party will treat you well, if he/she is violent, or he/she is just the way they are once you knew them. but how are we gonna find out till we past the signing of papers and ceremony.

its because of him and some others, made me more cautious about my other half. its because of them, i will go all out just to dig out the truth of my other half and to check if he is lying to me. and when i find out, i'm usually not calm about it, and i became super sensitive when someone just deosnt keep to their words. i guess i will never give my full trust to my other half. i think it'll b very hard for me especially if the person was flirtatious before. sigh. why am i growing up? the more you grow, the more worries and problems you have. and it sucks.

i teared upon reading judy's post on her feelings for the upcoming operation. www.tinybabydreams.wordpress.com
the operation is on the 9th oct. i cant do anything to help cause i'm not B+ blood type, and i've no cash to help at all. in fact they have been paying me money for ashley's tuition. =/ being a mother is so.. "WOW!" it really breaks my heart knowing such disease chose this poor little child, and wanting to take this life of hers away. i pray that the operation will be successful. be strong avril!

3rd week of school has ended and i've been so caught up with school work. hope i see good results this sem. A! A! A! here i come!! lab has started this week and i'm already so demoralized. did recrystallization twice and i failed twice. sigh. my product went hay wire and there goes my results. gotta smoke my lab report with the help from fuq. my product yield is not even 50%!!!! lesson learnt, never listen to 2 TAs(seniors that help us out in labs). always stick to 1 and you wont go wrong.

i'm so dead tired everyday. i cant seem to find time for myself now. everyday is sch, work, sch, work. exhausted.

first day of school and boy do i miss my group of friends! had add/drop today and it was a comical scene for me i guess. i was practically carrying my laptop on my hands everywhere i go once the add/drop period starts. jialin and i were on the phone trying to coordinate the timing for her to drop the module and for me to accept it.

jialin: 1, 2, 3, hurry click hurry click!

me: *click*

jialin: ahh!! wait!

me: what?! i click already! dont scare me! what happened?!

jialin: i havent confirm!

me: -.-" wa lao!!!!

and then the same procedure. we were both super kanjiong. cause once i missed it, there wont b any more vacancies for me to take that module until some one drops it. so i was raising my voice, being all so nervous and restless while cross the road, at the bus stop, and on the bus. yes! in public! it was a busy day for me as i've got 2 tuitions straight after school. so i wasnt able to stay in school to click with the girls. ): oh well, at least i'm not lack of any electives. thank god! (:

You must be happy now to bring happiness into your life through the law of attraction. It's a simple formula. Happiness attracts happiness. Yet people use so many excuses as to why they can't be happy. They use excuses of debt, excuses of health, excuses of relationships, and excuses of all sorts of things as to why they can't use this simple formula. But the formula is the law.

No matter what the excuse, unless you begin to feel happy despite it, you cannot attract happiness. The law of attraction is saying to you, "Be happy now, and as long as you keep doing that, I will give you unlimited happiness.

Adapted from secret once again..

havent been updating cause my life is rather more or less stagnant. i'm practically doing more or less the same thing nowadays. including mahjiong and prawning. am considering if i should be in the committee this upcoming year. i love the sport. but somehow, there is someone who is keeping me from continuing. it feels awkward nowadays. i tried putting in effort to get it going but somehow it isnt. i dont know if its a miscommunication or something. i guess the only solution to it is to pray about it. (:

school is starting next week! gonna get real busy with school and tuition. and probably lesser late nights for me. (:

i'm disappointed at someone. but nonetheless, everything else is great! (:

all thanks to baby my holidays so far are well spent! YAY-ness! bangkok trip was awesome! we explored around ourselves and i really liked the feeling. in a foreign land, not knowing their language, explore the city, taking their public transport. WOW! i love it! especially when its with baby.

the following week was bintan with lesby, jun and khornee. a short trip, nothing much to do, but the company was great! love their company. (: its amazing how a trip with not much activity is able to be so enjoyable. cherry and apple are memories. =D (inside joke) straight after bintan was genting with baby again. no rest day at all. luckily for us the bus ride was first class, with movies and massage chair + baby = ultimate! went casino! hohoho! i'm so happy everytime the policeman asked to view my identity card. this means i look young! =D

missed church for a week and i miss the feeling of going church. i know its so unlike me compared to the past. even i myself am surprised at myself. and well, its a good surprise.

bang! fired! (:

i'm happy. cause i have my baby. i'm happy cause zephyr does wonders to my heart. i'm happy cause i made my first phonathon today but no success yet. i'm happy cause i met lesby today. i'm happy cause i tried wendy's today. i'm happy cause i know how genuine my relationship with my gfs, my bf, and my family has. (:

Adapted from secrets

Every night before you fall asleep, replay in your mind the good moments of the day, and give heartfelt thanks for each one of them. Think about the next day also, and intend that it is going to be amazing, that it is going to be filled with love and joy, and that all good is coming to you. Intend that it is going to be the best day of your life. Then when you wake in the morning, BEFORE you get out of bed, declare your intentions again for the day and give deep thanks as though you have received them all.

i just got back from church camp. and it was an amazing experience. i got myself a new group of girls and wow are they amazing! (: we were there for each other throughout the camp, comforting each other, sharing our personal stuffs and it was awesome! it really was. am glad i joined RCIY. am glad i went for the camp. i learnt a lot of things. not only about christ, but also about life. it did mature my thinking to a certain extend. (:

its oh so amazing!

From The Secret Daily Teachings

It is so important that you are grateful for everything in your life. Many people focus on the one thing they want and then forget to be grateful for all the things they have. Without gratitude you cannot achieve anything, because if you are not emanating gratitude from your being, then by default you are emanating ungratefulness. Be proactive and use the frequency of your being to receive what you want.

Rock Climbing today was fun! learnt belaying from uyanga too! (: i would seriously love to rock climb soon. but dont intend to do it regularly. cause i dont want my fingers to be.. well.. unable to stretch out straight. dont wanna look too manly too. recently, i've decided to change mindset on certain things and prioritizing my stuffs differently. i hope this way will make things work out for me better.

anyway, i've decided to make wakeboarding as my leisure hobby and not go for competitiveness. i will still go for trainings every month. but perhaps not every week. it shall depends. (: oh well.. shall see how things work out for me.

Lesby has been so sweet to me. really appreciate everything she did for me. Was working at the PC show the past few days and she actually bought lunch for me when she came down to get her stuffs. it was beyond words. (: so anyway, on sat night, i asked the girls out for wala wala session. night was awesome and the girls were awesome. we need more girls night out like this!

working at PC show was fun. the peeps were fun. thats the main point. helping each other out in times of need, having lunch/dinner together and gossips. its the people in the team that matters most, and of course the leader too. and we have a pretty good and caring leader. thus, its the reason why it bought the team much closer together. (:

ahhh! i'm off for rock climbing session! =D

"Pure love has no conditions or boundaries. Love does not restrain itself or hold back. Love gives all the time and doesn't ask for anything in return. Love is a continuous flow without any limits. And all of this is inside you."

once again, this is adapted from the Secret. Love is all about giving. (:

Results are out and well, my grades are... really bad.. i kinda expected it i guess. but i didnt know it will pull my gpa down so much. i need to find the motivation to drill myself to study hard once sch starts. sigh. Lesby, jun and i are planning a 2 days 1 night trip to bintan! i'm so excited! a time to finally unwind! (: i dont mind going this weekend either. haha! as long there is sun, beach, clean sea water and wind. SHIOK~! how i wish baby is able to join me. too bad he has work. shall plan another with him alone once he's done with him attachment in tekong! (:

yq just said something which suddenly made me start thinking. and a past situation came flashing by. whenever u needed me, i'll try ways and means to help u out, to understand your situation. when i needed u, u thought of whats best for me, but didnt know what i wanted as u didnt understand how i was feeling. whenever i'm feeling stressed up and at my peak, i always need u by my side to comfort me. i hope my next stress moment would b good. coz this is the 2nd time whereby i went crazy or rather became not myself. even i myself was scared of myself then. =/

results for sem 2 are coming out real soon. so far the holidays have been NOT busy for me. only during the weekends when i have tuition. damn! i wish tuitions are on weekdays only. ): so i can dedicate my weekends fully for baby.

finally met up with dear today! after so long! had a nice long chat with her, updating each other with our everyday lives while relaxing in the icy cold pool. (:

have been reflecting on my life the past few weeks. and i realized i'm actually very fortunate. i have trustworthy friends whom i can always rely on. i do not need to name you peeps out. i'm sure you know who you are. (: i also have siblings who i can get along very well and rely on in times of need. education wise, though during my early school days my grades were always average or atrocious, the path i took and selected brought me to where i am now and i am thankful for it. who can be as lucky as i am? i'm not those smart people who are able to get into top 10 jc and uni education is so easy for them to score. i was lucky to have chosen to enter poly and get into uni from there. i guess if i chose jc then uni, i might end up in one of those private uni. i'm not saying private uni is bad or anything. i just happen to get into a course that i am able to excel and score. and lastly as for love, i found some one who loves me as much as i love him back. who loves me for who i am and not purely for lust or outer beauty.

am not boasting or anything. but i just feel we should think as positive as possible in life. there may be lots of unhappiness and disappointments in our everyday life. but out of each and every unhappiness and disappointments, there is something to learn from which will benefit us. watching ugly betty recently helped me to recall this point. therefore, why get so upset and angry every time? why dont people just calm down, and think of the learning points? (: dont waste ur energy on getting angry. use it on improving your own character instead.

i really have to thank st margs for having these short devotions every morning which really taught me a lot. if you listen attentively to what was preached, its very helpful in ones daily life. i dont know if they still have this going on, but when mrs lee was still around, these lessons were the best i ever had in st margs.

Adapted from The Secret

Look for the gifts in everything, especially when you are facing what appears to be a negative situation. Everything that we attract causes us to grow, which means that ultimately everything is for our own good.

Adjusting to a new path and a new direction will require new qualities and strengths, and these qualities are always exactly what we need to acquire in order to accomplish the great things ahead in our life.

yes, this passage really makes me view everything in a positive way. so i hope it will do the same for you. (: exams are over! like finally! and i havent been blogging so much that i almost forgot my login password for blogger. baby is in tekong. what a boring place to be in. whats more he can only book out like during the weekends. or worst, not at all cause of the dear recruits. sigh. dont even have enough time spent with him. it feels like australia/taiwan. although its a little better where i can contact him constantly and see him at least once every week. its still NOT enough! its like a drastic change! i just got to start adapting to it. can you imagine if i have tuition, or he has his other plans? totally no need to meet at all lor. ): haiya.. hate it lah. especially when now i'm having holidays. making me from no pms to have pms only. =/

*slap slap* "Look for the gifts in everything, especially when you are facing what appears to be a negative situation." i wan a chill out session with you. ):

Its coming to a year with him. time really fly pass super fast. am already completing year 1 in uni in about less den a month time? wow! anyway, charm hearts is officially launched!!! www.charm-hearts. blogspot.com thanks to those who supported our flea on the 20th march too! please continue supporting k? (: and yes! i got my beloved wakeboard too. faith love hope. oh yes~! i'm loving it so so much!!

Bonjour!!

Charm Hearts has officially launched her website!

Collection 1 is out and Collection 2 is on its way!

Our flea was a success and thanks to those who came down to support and help up!

Love you peeps many many!! (:

my beloved jun called me all the way from aussie yesterday! chatted with her for nearly an hour. (: glad you're coming back soon babe! loves! celebrated baby's daddy's bday today. had chilli and pepper crab for dinner! yummy!! i love crabs! have been craving for a long long time and i finally get to have a chance to have that wonderful taste on my tastebuds! SWEET! baby's mom then passed me a new guess wallet that she didnt use. whee~! i've got a new wallet to use at the mean time before i get my gucci wallet/LV purse! =D baby was so shock when his mama passed me the wallet lah. he kept repeating,"who are you to her? why she so nice give you wallet?" LOL! dont jealous lah baby.. *pat pat* u wanna use the wallet tell me anytime k? i lend u.. =P

got a shock this afternoon when i got home. maid was lying on floor, grandma and da sao was trying to keep her awake and stuffs. threw my bag immediately to aside and tried fanning her, massaging her, and talking to her. soon, mom got home and we called the ambulance. i hope she'll be alright. may the Lord bless her.

after the ambulance left, grandma kept saying about how she found her lying on the floor unconscious, talked about her shock, and she was so afraid my maid would ........ she then mention about my other grandma, where she found her unconscious on the chair. which she failed to wake her up. sigh. tears almost weld up in my eyes at the thought of it. oh well, hope everything will be fine. au revoir!

I've just collected my repaired pixon a week ago and i lost it on saturday! WTF! so i've once again lost all contacts.


pissed!

my ang bao money increased this year! yayness! all thanks the baby's relatives. haha! if not i guess it decreased tremendously despite the new couples each year. this new year has been lucky for me! have been winnning in black jack and in between. whee~! but all small amounts. better than nothing. (: at least i'm winning and not losing like last year.

tests are all coming up. and i've been slacking. like really a lot. sigh. i need to buck up! i'm like lagging behind and i'm still not bucking up! what the hell am i thinking or doing?! this is not poly where i can do last minute study. i need to STUDY!!! MUG MUG MUG!!!

HAPPY ROARING YEAR and VALENTINE'S DAY!!

damn! why must these 2 occasions clash together!! take away my precious first vday with my baby! (>.<) boohoo!! did lots of visiting today! (: went over to baby's house for visiting too. wah! damn shy lah! my typical shy, quiet and gentle self came out today. LOL! ben bro came and pick me up after that and we went to gua ma's place. got a new cousin! xD he's so cute and adorable lah! goodness! big round eyes with 2 dimples! and he has such a BRIGHT SMILE!!!

one of my aunt brought a video clip too. it was taken in 1994! saw all of us when we're young, doing stupid things, playing stupid games which are still vivid in our minds. those fun moments were never forgotten (except for some small parts). i had super curly hair too! wahahahaha! its as good as having permed hair!

oh well, end of the first day of chinese new year. more visitings tomorrow!

went rebel last night. time flies. its been a long time since i last clubbed. and its been a long time since dear and i had fun. and after a long time, this time was the first time both of us rejected drink offers flat! LOL! and its pretty weird why last night were guys in caps. i'm so sure we do not have hip hop looks. =/ hmmm.. it was definately a nightmare for suan too! haha! and its also dear and my first time protecting a guy in a club. gosh! what a night. great night. (:

happy 10th months baby! thanks for all the unconditional love. thanks for all the crazy laugther and nonsense. thanks for everything. love u!

lunched with natasha today. had a great time with her! it was a fantastic sushi tei lunch. food was fabulous! and we chilled at starbucks! started talking about bio, animals and all sorts of stuffs. (:

headed to vivo to meet jmin. changed my spoilt hair straightener to a brand new one for free!!! woohoo!! i'm happy! yes! i'm glad things between the both of us are better now. not say there's a problem to start with. but at least we start to get along with each other so much better now. and i'm really happy about it. i thought i would not be close to anyone in the club, but i get gatherings and riding sessions does help in a certain extent. i'm glad i went to almost everyone of them. (:

as usual, our dearest president lee was never punctual! 9pm meet, in the end 10pm he arrive. we need to prepare red carpet for him i guess. LOL! wavehoused again! but didnt ride today. saw them ride instead and it did tempted me to ride as well. next week ba. (: i'm eyed on the board i'm intending to get. first goal of the year, save up for my board!!

i love love love love love my baby so much! (: thank GOD for bringing him into my life.

went to his church friend's wedding on sunday. super nice, special too and i'm glad i went! finally got to meet all his church friends and they sure are nice to talk to. met his best friend lois too! yay! have been wanting to meet all of them and i finally got the chance to. the feeling of your partner wanting to bring you out to meet his important friends of his life really feels great. in fact, after meeting his friends, i feel more relief. i feel relief that he has such good and fun friends around. and all the more i feel relief when he's out with them in future. not that i dont trust him at all but it just feels so much better after knowing them. if you get what i mean. =/ getting to know his friends also means i got to know my boy better. and i'm just so happy! thanks baby!

on sat, was talking to lester and ryan about long distance relationship. it sure is tough to maintain but its possible. lester said one sentence that i remembered clearly, "trust is the one that breaks the r/s". trust is really very important in a relationship be it long distance or not. therefore, i'm still learning to trust fully. and i will in time to come. (: if only scandals, flings and affairs do not exist in the dictionary. not saying my boy will hor! he definately has my trust on that!

heart baby many many!!
i love my girls too!!! *muuuuuacks*

i'm back from wavehouse. fun fun fun! a whole new experience. i love my cca. like seriously. get to experience all sorts of new stuffs! fun people in there too! (:

everyone was asking everybody their results, gpa and stuffs. made me feel a little demoralized as my grades aint that good. first class, second upper, wah! when will i have that kind of grades?! i seriously got to x100000 times of hard work for remaining semesters.

YES! i wanna get my own board. heard from jiamin there's a purple board for the 2010 edition! ahhhh!!! i really really wanna get one.. who wanna get it for me? any sponsors?! =D i gotta save up! and to think i've got no more tuition. sigh. i got to work something out so i can cover all my wakeboard expenses. tuition anyone? to think my grades already so cui. still wanna give tuition. *faints* who want sia.. haiz.. i want to get my own personal board but yet i dont think i'm capable of getting it. i just got to save. and i'm gonna start today! yes! but i know its quite tough for me as i still have to go for training often. aint complaining cause i enjoy my trainings. (: