its easter. am happy that Jesus died for us on the cross. no one can ever go through the pain he went. just the thought of what he went through its painful enough. went for service on friday and wow. it was such an emotional one. when the gospel was read, i could just tear immediately but obviously i was trying to control as much as possible. )": especially when the chorus of a song was sang, i could no longer control.

"i forgive you, i love you.

you are mine, hold my hand.

go in peace, sin no more.

my beloved one"

wah wah wah!! till now. this verse is stuck in my head. another thing am kinda upset about is my baptism. am supposed to get baptised on this day. however, due to my busy schedule which made me missed lots of classes, i gave this opportunity up as i wasnt ready. am planning to attend the next batch. but what if my schedule becomes pack again? sigh. i hope not. saw the baptism pictures. i cant help but felt pretty sad about it. why aint i the one up there? i know i'm the one who decided not to go through baptism this year. however, i cant help feeling upset about it when everyone were so excited about their baptism but not me. ): sigh.

exams are around the corner and i'm starting to binge on food.

NO GOOD!!!

everything is so sudden. even i myself find it hard to accept. i really dont know how is she herself and her family gonna accept it. life is so fragile. anything can happen anytime without you even knowing. we always say that we have to treasure everyone around you now since you're able too. but how many times do we actually act it out. really thank GOD for her strong personality. she's stronger than i thought. stronger than me. i wont be able to go through as much as her. jia you girl! you have all of us praying and being there for you. i love you~!

its so hurting when you know about it and yet you can do anything to help solve the problem. am so pissed at him. he makes me all the more fearful of marriage. he makes me all the more weary about getting married. however, one will never know the true colours of a person until marriage. whether the other party will treat you well, if he/she is violent, or he/she is just the way they are once you knew them. but how are we gonna find out till we past the signing of papers and ceremony.

its because of him and some others, made me more cautious about my other half. its because of them, i will go all out just to dig out the truth of my other half and to check if he is lying to me. and when i find out, i'm usually not calm about it, and i became super sensitive when someone just deosnt keep to their words. i guess i will never give my full trust to my other half. i think it'll b very hard for me especially if the person was flirtatious before. sigh. why am i growing up? the more you grow, the more worries and problems you have. and it sucks.

i teared upon reading judy's post on her feelings for the upcoming operation. www.tinybabydreams.wordpress.com
the operation is on the 9th oct. i cant do anything to help cause i'm not B+ blood type, and i've no cash to help at all. in fact they have been paying me money for ashley's tuition. =/ being a mother is so.. "WOW!" it really breaks my heart knowing such disease chose this poor little child, and wanting to take this life of hers away. i pray that the operation will be successful. be strong avril!

3rd week of school has ended and i've been so caught up with school work. hope i see good results this sem. A! A! A! here i come!! lab has started this week and i'm already so demoralized. did recrystallization twice and i failed twice. sigh. my product went hay wire and there goes my results. gotta smoke my lab report with the help from fuq. my product yield is not even 50%!!!! lesson learnt, never listen to 2 TAs(seniors that help us out in labs). always stick to 1 and you wont go wrong.

i'm so dead tired everyday. i cant seem to find time for myself now. everyday is sch, work, sch, work. exhausted.